Welcome to the Neighborhood!
by Jazzie-mi
Summary: A new woman moves into the neighborhood and Alfred and Gilbert take notice - at the same time, no less. Who will be the one to gain her affections? feat. fem!England


Nothing interesting ever happens on WORLD Avenue, a row of apartments along the edge of the city; each apartment was colored differently, yes, but there was literally no one new that came to that part of town. It's not that it was a bad part of the city, it was just the boring part. The parts were the entire elder city folk lived.

Unfortunately for two of the tenants at this apartment complex were Alfred and Gilbert; no, there were not really friends, more like neighbors. They knew of each other, since they both worked in the same office – along with about half of the other tenants – but, beyond that, the similarities ended.

Alfred, a blonde American fellow, lived in the middle of the second floor – apartment 2F – and Gilbert, a nearly ivory-haired German man, occupied the apartment directly adjacent to Alfred's – number 2H. Across the hall, in between both rooms, was apartment 2G; it was unoccupied for the longest time, until one day, as fate would have it, someone moved in.

And that "someone" was an incredibly hot young woman that was going to begin working in their same work building; as a secretary, no less.

She had long, golden tresses and matching bangs that grazed the top of her radiant, jade eyes – or at least that was what the clerk at the front desk had told the both of them once they heard a woman was moving in across from them.

Her name was Alice Kirkland – that was what the clerk had told them – and she recently moved to the city from across the country, quite a long trek home for an office job.

As soon as the two men laid eyes on her, they knew right away that they had to have her. They spotted her outside, someone that matched the clerk's description, unloading boxes from a taxi cab – balancing three packages in her arms while over her shoulder she was lugging around a bag, her purse, and a suitcase.

Alfred's electric blue hues shot to Gilbert and then back out to the struggling woman, they both locked eye-contact for a moment before narrowing their orbs to slits.

"_Dude, you better not_."

The American lad hissed lowly under his breath.

In response, Gilbert grinned.

"_Oh, I will_."

Quick as a flash, the silver-haired German was out the front door and sprinting towards [Name]; a confident smile curling his sinister lips. He would make the pretty girl fall for him yet!

"Oi! Oi, _Dame_!"

Startled, the struggling flaxen-haired woman nearly dropped the boxes she was carrying to the slanted cement side-walk, stumbling backwards a few steps before reeling forward. Frightened green eyes shot up to Gilbert's.

"Bloody Hell! What in the name of God is your problem, Mister?"

Ooh, saucy tongue.

Gilbert likey.

"Kesesese, sorry about that, I just thought you would need my awesome help carrying those heavy boxes up—"

"Are you implying that I'm weak?"

"Wha—?"

"You are, aren't you?"

Those pretty, pristine eyes were soon reduced into a hard, glare.

And then Alfred bounded up to the both of them, slapping the German as hard as he could on the back, which caused him to stumble forward a bit.

"You'll have to excuse my…friend, lady. He's a sexist asshole; I wouldn't associate with a guy like him."

"I'm a what?"

"A sexist asshole; did I stutter?"

The grin that was given off by the blonde young man would be described that of a taunt.

Rolling her eyes, Alice jumped the items in her arms further into her grasp so she could have a better hold on them without the objects spilling from her arms; she really didn't need to go through this bullshit again every time she moved somewhere.

"Uh, yeah, so I'm just going to go inside; I don't need any of your help, so long as you just…open the door. I have no use of my arms."

Jumping at the request like a Labrador, Alfred bounded over to the front door to the apartment and held it open obediently as Alice shuffled her way through. She thanked him under her breath and made her way to the elevator.

As Alfred was about the close the door, Gilbert thrust it open once more – nearly hitting the blonde man in the face. The vermilion-eyed man snickered as a nasty, cruel smile twisted his lips.

"Awesome before Lap-Dog,"

"H-hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, Hund, that you're [Name]'s new pet puppy."

"At least I'm not the sexiest asshole."

"That's it, Jones; I'm going to rip your damn throat out."

Let the competition begin.

.

.


End file.
